Fighter Talk

The difference in the tone in "fighter" mode versus "victim" includes:

• high judgment of right and wrong
• wanting someone to blame
• competing with others to measure up
• feeling internal conflict within self or external conflict with another
• justification in beliefs and feelings of anger

When communicating from this mode, black and white statements are often made. Absolutes and inflexibility occur. Sometimes hostility and defensiveness show up.

Take the following quiz to see if you have a tendency to fall into this mode of communication.

If you answered more to the affirmative, your default might be "fighter" under stress.

Assignment:

1. Watch the video about communication as a "fighter".
2. Scroll through social media and see if you can spot a fighter mode post. Don't do anything with it (or judge it), just simply see if you can objectively recognize this mode.
3. Read the following PDF "Breaking the Fighting Cycle" for ways to communicate your way out of that default mode.

Reflect: What is the cost of communicating as a "fighter"? What is the benefit? Share with the group any insights you have up to this point.